Who are these silent strangers waiting for me to know who they are?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Stress Management

“What,” she asked herself, “am I going to do now?”
It was just one of those days that seemed like one more straw would break the camels back. Knowing this was the state of affairs, she knew she had to act quickly or suffer the consequences. Whether it be a broken back or a broken mind, something must be done quickly. That’s when she started a list of the most outrageous things she could think of. You know, kind of like a bucket list but not lifetime goals, just sanity goals.
1. Make a raspberry smoothie (dairy free of course) and drink it while eating the most expensive dark chocolate bar available. Seeing that she was living in a town of 350 people it would only cost her about $1.50 and be made by hershey.
2. When the sun goes down, take a bubble bath in a candle lit bathroom. Have some music playing and lock the cats (and everyone else) out. Not really that outrageous but relaxing none-the-less.
3. Put your ipod on random and sing along with all the songs that come on very loudly. Especially the ones from the 70s.
4. Find some laugh out loud old movies on netflix and watch them while having as much coffee and cigarettes as you want. (Inside the house!) Hah!
5. Call up people that you haven’t talked to in a long time just to say “Hi” and maybe have some conversations.
6. Go to the Random word generator and generate 8 words. Then write a short story based on the results.
a. Tusk
b. empire
c. bridle
d. trophy
e. north
f. sugar
g. chimp
h. badge
(see story in a later post)
7. Turn on the TV but put it on mute. Then watch a program and make up your own dialogue or commentary.
8. Have a glass of wine and post ridiculous things.
9. Make up nick names for all your friends and family and let them know what it is and why you chose it.
10. Buy purple nail polish and paint your toe nails.
11. Get a big coloring book and crayons. - self explanatory. Try coloring every other page in the completely wrong colors. (not as easy as it sounds) Then pick out your favorite 3 and put them on the frig.
12. Insult your pillow. Get as descriptive and creative as you can and then scream obscenities into it. Your pillow will not mind.
13. Reverse number 12 and compliment your pillow, being as creative and descriptive as you want. Tell it all thing wonderful things you could do together.
14. See how high you can stack your pennies without you or the cats knocking it down.
15. Pretend you are from another country or planet and refuse to speak in English.
16. Wear your PJ’s and sandals to Walmart at about 2 am (preferably after you’ve painted your toe nails purple). Find at least two items that do not go together and watch the cashier try to figure out what you have in mind. Example: Vaseline, peanut butter, glitter, and a spatula.
17. Look at photos and come up with clever captions.

Well, something has to work right?

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