Who are these silent strangers waiting for me to know who they are?

Friday, December 10, 2010


What does Christmas mean to me? For some it is a religious celebration and growing up that was certainly an element. For most it is a time to cherish family & friends. This is the first Christmas that I will have - ever - that the only family I will be with on Christmas is my husband. I have spent many Christmas' that included others - some very dear to me, but there was always at least one of my children around. I have never been one to have deep meanings and traditions, I thought, around Christmas. But here I am, feeling lost. I don't quite know how to approach this holiday. We will not see our kids, nor any other family. Most of our dear friends are also in another state. We have a few old friends nearby and a few new friends, too. Nonetheless, I don't feel like putting up a tree. My husband and I are not exchanging gifts. So, what do we do? Treat it like any other day? Invite people over? What parts of our usual holiday do we keep and what parts do we get rid of? We will probably make a special meal (although not turkey). Do I try to put up decorations? It's funny but all the decorations just don't seem important without people to decorate for. I mean, I could decorate just for myself but that hardly seems festive. The cats don't care and my husband has always been extremely unsentimental about holidays. Almost scrooge like. If I invite friends, what do we do besides eat. None of the friends I have here like to watch the same movies. Some, my husband included, do not play games or cards. I will have to eat glass and then pour boiling water on my head if we have to watch the Christmas parades. I nice fire would be good. If I thought there was a snowball's chance in hell that our conversations would be real or have any substance, then we'd be set. I guess what surprises me is that I really do care. I really will miss the comfort of good friends and family. With them, we COULD do nothing, in pajamas, and it would still be good. Hmmmm. So now I must decide, "what do I want my Christmas to be?" I will have to think on this some more.

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