Thursday, December 30, 2010
Waiting for the future
Sometimes I find myself buried in the past, looking at old photos and documents. It's easy to forget the present when you are reading letters about life and death and heartache. It's also safe. These people are in the distant past and I feel their pain but it is still remote, muffled by time. Then, something happens to bring me back to the here and now. When the here and now is fills up my mind completely, then, my world narrows, focuses in on the issues at hand. The rest of the world is a blur. There I am hanging on by a thread waiting for the future. Waiting to see if what comes tomorrow will release me or throttle me. I know that I will wake up, breathe, eat, and do all the things I must do. Yet, I will still be waiting. When I look at these photos from 1900 & 1920 etc. I realize that when they took each photo, they did not know what was coming. Howard with his precious baby had know idea that in 9 short months she would be gone. He had now idea that he would lose all 3 of his baby girls before they reached one year of age. Looking back one realizes how precious & short life can be. We never know how long we have or how long those we love will be here. So, while I wait I intend to seize every moment I can to enjoy being here, breathing, eating, listening and connecting with others who are doing the same.