Howard & Bernadean pt 4

Sep 26, 1933 postmarked from Tulsa Okla

Dear Howard:
I hope you won’t mind my using this kind of stationery and the typewriter. I only have a few minutes and couldn’t began to write a long hand letter in that time. I’ve just come to work - this being Tuesday.

The picture is great! Really - I like it so much. think I’ll have it framed with the title “This is Howard” and carry it around with me. I like the pose, too. You all look so exactly as I think people should look. Also - am glad you said what you did about the picture I sent you. If you’d said you liked it I’d never have spoken to you again. I procrastinate so about everything I do that I knew it would be useless to wait until we’e get some taken. You don’t know how extraordinary it is that I get your letters answered so soon because I usually write to my very best friends once every two or three months. However, if it is a nice day Sunday I think Barbara and I will take some pictures early in the morning. So much for that!

Your letter came at noon Saturday just before I left for Barnsdall to spend the week end with my mother. I took the picture along and told her about you. Even my step-father made favorable comment. Sunday was Mother’s birthday and they are still events at our house. We used to always, if nothing else, dress for dinner on each other’s birthday and have a party of our own.

We are simply melting. An overcoat sounds preposterous as even now when it is threatening rain its very, very warm.

Last night was the first fall meeting of the Tulsa Business Girls Club and as I am editor of the paper I feel that I have to go to the dinners. Last year was president. Went to dancing class afterwards and then had to come back to the office and work until ten o’clock so I felt I earned my half-day this morning. When I came down at noon my boss thanked me for coming back and said next time I wanted an extra day for something just take it. Nice, isn’t it?

Your dance sounds good. Makes me wish I belonged to the Cashiers Division. Or some division. The drinking party of it sounds very natural. They have the lousiest dances in this town anyway and its just a matter of taking your choice between which brawl. It didn’t used to be that way.

Believe it or not - Tulsa is going to have a stock company here all winter. It will be the first time we’ve had legitimate shows in about six years with the exception of perhaps two or three a year.

My sorority had a dinner and swimming party at the University Club the other night and then went to the theater afterward. Had a good time, tho nothing to get excited about.
Last Sunday afternoon I went to a tea and all but about two or three of the girls there had been to Chicago and we certainly bored the others to death talking about it. Funny thing, too, none of us seemed to see much of the same things or do the same things yet we all think we had the best time. I’m positive I did.

I should think you would be very anxious to go to Florida if it is possible. . . if what you hear about it are true. I have a friend who spent about a month there one summer, though, and he says never go to Florida unless you can stay because you will hate so badly to leave it will spoil the trip. That might be a matter of opinion but he was certainly sold on the place.

Just as I was on Chicago. Not only me, though, but most of the people I know who have been there. You’ll probably fool around and be in Shanghai or some such place by the time I come up there again which shall be next summer. Barbara and I have definitely decided that unless the most unexpected happens we are leaving this place for good next summer and we both want to go to Chicago. She has lived there before and visits frequently. She will probably be up there Christmas. Sunday Mother was talking about my sister being so far away from home - in St. Louis - and her eyes became a little misty. I asked her what she was going to do when I went to Chicago and you should have heard. I can tell there will be much, much opposition. But I’ve had it before.

I certainly hope something happens to make it possible for you to come down here this winter. I should love seeing you and, as you say, getting better aquainted, but it certainly wouldn’t be a very interesting trip because this is a dull place. You can either go to a dance or a show. That’s all. Nothing to see. I don’t mean to be running Tulsa down. For a town its size it is keen. There used to be lots of money here but not so much any more with the oil business in its present condition. They have good schools and all that sort of thing. Nice place to rear a family but no place to spend all your life. And, of course, having lived here for about ten years I’m tired of it.

Odd things happen on vacations sometimes, don’t they. Something nearly always does on mine - that’s the reason I so look forward to them. But this year was the best of all. However, what I started to say was I was out to a friend of mine’s house the other night and his roommate had just come back from St. Paul And has become a Hermit You couldn’t quite appreciate that unless you knew him but he’s one of these fellows that dates about twenty five different girls and not the same one twice in a month. However, he met THE girl in St. Paul and he has not been out in over two weeks. Some quick change, huh? It doesn’t sound real to me.

I suppose the Don in the picture is the one you told me about. He certainly looks great. I should like to have met him but the one on the floor is the big attraction.

You know, I was just about to tell you that I was learning about you all the time from your letters. Little things, of course, but they often tell more about a person then definite traits. And everything I find out I like better. However, if that works both ways you certainly don’t get much of an opinion from a rambling letter like this that has absolutely no sequence and not much thought. My intentions are good, though, Howard. It seemed such a long time between your last two letters that I was afraid perhaps there weren’t going to be anymore.

My boss will be coming back from lunch shortly and he may not think he’s paying me to write personal letters. Especially when I’ve work stacked all about me.

I might explain, Howard, that I don’t type like this all the time but trying to think and type at the same time is somewhat of an ordeal for a one track mind.

Honey, I shall be looking forward to another letter and hope it will be real soon.

Sincerely,
Dean

P.S. Do your friends mostly call you Howie? I remember Lil did and the fellow she introduced me to while waiting for you.

Howard and Bernadean - The continuing drama 3

Sept. 13, 1933 - postmarked Sept 14 from 1539 North Cheyenne Ave Tulsa, Oklahoma

Dear Howard,

If this looks any funnier than you expect it to just remember that I’m propped up in bed reading (excuse that’s what I usually do awhile before I go to sleep) writing this. Awkward but decided I had better write tonight as tomorrow evening I have dancing class and after an hour’s work out with routines I don’t feel so energetic. We are working on three dances at once for a show later in the winter. Friday we are having company for dinner so no letters that evening.

These day are typical of Oklahoma - never know whether the sun will shine or if it will rain or snow. We usually have hot weather until the first of October.

I told my mother about meeting you alright but not about waiting until so late. I will, though, because she’d understand. I’ve only talked to her a little while that one day since I’ve been back.

I suppose you’ve been to lots of shows. I have only been to 3 or 4. We have nothing but pictures. The radio is fixed now tho so I can play it. A tube burned out while I was gone and the company pilot promised to fix it for me but it took him nearly two weeks to get around to it. However I try to practice the piano every day so I don’t have much time to radio.

I’ve had a big evening this evening and a miserable day. Everything went wrong until I got home. I’ve cleaned out dresser drawers (hunting a picture) and did various other acts of cleaning. Then baked some pies and cinnamon rolls. The woman next door brou’t my dinner to me and it was the kind of food I can really go for when I’m hungry. She’s a grand neighbor.

Helene (tall dark girl with us in Chi) called and said all the pictures she took there were good. Even of the water when on the boat to Milwaukee. I’m anxious to see them. She’s going to bring them to a t? Sunday afternoon so I can see them. Last Sunday Louise (blonde girl) came over and she and Barbara (my pal) laid around and read aloud to each other from Don Marquis poems about Archy, the cockroach Mehitabel, the Alley Cat

and then from Townsend’s “Earth”

. Not much contrast, huh?

I know, Howard, that you are extremely interested in all these details of my daily living!

After all my searching the evil-assed picture isn’t so hot but its the best I can do right now. You see, most of the pictures I have show me with long hair and of course that’s not the way you saw me. I had real long hair for about 3 years. I just cut it this Spring. The other girl is my sister - Maxine. Last year was our first snow in 3 years. The brick house shows the two front windows to the apartment where we lived. It looks like I have protruding teeth but perhaps you’ll recall I didn’t. So much for that! Can I help how I look, anyway?

Howard, dear, It’s quite alright for you to call me Deanie. My mother does sometimes as she and my step father call me Dean almost exclusive. My father calls me “Bunny.”

Honey, I shall be anxiously waiting another letter and your pictures. You’re a dear.

Sincerely Bernadean

Howard and Bernadean - The continuing drama 2

Frank Howard Sexton was born April 10, 1911 to Julia Peterson and Frank A Sexton in Chicago, IL. Frank was a young architect and Julia came from a wealthy family of Swedish immigrants. Her father owned three barbershops in Chicago. He as the first grandchild for the Peterson's and an only child of Julia and Frank. Looking at his early photographs one could easily imagine him as a bit spoiled. He was a happy, easy going child with an apparent love for cats.

By the time Howard was in High School, Julia and Frank had built their own home in Evanston. He attended Evanston Township High School. In 1929 the Evanston Township High School took a trip to Baltimore and Washington, D.C. Howie was popular with the young ladies and from the letters he received from many of them I believe he was a good friend and confidante. In December 1929 I also found a curious receipt from the Evanston Cradle (adoption agency) thanking Howard and a young lady named Morrell for their donation. I may be wrong, but it seems to me that on his High School trip he and Morrell became familiar with each other. (a little too familiar)

Following his graduation from Evanston Township, Howard enrolled in Kemper Military School in Booneville, MO. Howard's father wished for him to study architecture and indeed he did but did not wish to make this his career. He instead, developed a deep love for the Arts. He was enamored of all things concerning theater and the new theater - movies. So after a short course of study at Kemper he graduated in 1930.

Following Kemper, he enrolled at N.U. (Northwestern University) in Chicago. During his University days he studied writing and decided to go into the advertising field. Upon his graduation he pursued a career in Theater. Initially he worked at a small theater in Chicago, a job he procured through his grandfather - Charles Peterson. During those early adult years he also worked at the Chicago World's Fair in 1933. It was during this time that he met a young woman, Bernadean Jones, who he would later marry. It was also during this time that his parents divorced. It was an ugly, drawn out divorce. Frank was a womanizer who met a younger woman (secretary at his office) with whom he had an affair. Of course, Julia divorced him leaving her destitute. Frank in turn, promptly moved away without a forwarding address and refused to pay any alimony.

Back to Howard and Bernadean. They met and began a long distance relationship. She had come into Chicago to attend the World's fair and met a dashing cashier named Howard. Alas, she live in Oklahoma and after returning to her home there she wrote to Howard.

"I hope that you write back, I wanted assure you that I am not in the habit of meeting strange men for lunch." Howard does write back and thus begins a new chapter of his life.

Miss Horse

I have been mindlessly entering data on the computer and sorting mountains of photos. I decide to take a break and look through my books so I can put them up on Alibris. I randomly picked , Since You Went Away by Margaret Buell Wilder. Part of listing a book is to leaf through it and check its condition, read a bit so I can describe it and . . . that's when I read this passage:

I . . . got on Miss Horse. She felt limber and hot under the saddle, not the way she feels on cold winter mornings with a hump in her back, but pliable, bending this way and that with your knees. The soft little wind suddenly became taut against my face and the sun brighter. It was like sailing, settling down in the saddle, letting her out in great bounds across the flat polo field. Then we found some jumps behind the club and she went at them, snatching at the bit a little and not changing her stride, but just pouring over, as if she'd been tipped out of a jug. It was so smooth and light I didn't even feel when she took off or when she landed; it was lovelier rhythm than even flying could be . . .

It is a novel of a woman's letters to her husband during WWII. Its rough going and finances are hard but she decides she can't give up her horse, her sanity and her daughters dream. Well, now I'm going to have to read it before I sell it.

A glimpse at a life

Sept. 13, 1933 - postmarked Sept 14 from 1539 North Cheyenne Ave Tulsa, Oklahoma

Dear Howard,

If this looks any funnier than you expect it to just remember that I’m propped up in bed reading (excuse that’s what I usually do awhile before I go to sleep) writing this. Awkward but decided I had better write tonight as tomorrow evening I have dancing class and after an hour’s work out with routines I don’t feel so energetic. We are working on three dances at once for a show later in the winter. Friday we are having company for dinner so no letters that evening.

These day are typical of Oklahoma - never know whether the sun will shine or if it will rain or snow. We usually have hot weather until the first of October.

I told my mother about meeting you alright but not about waiting until so late. I will, though, because she’d understand. I’ve only talked to her a little while that one day since I’ve been back.

I suppose you’ve been to lots of shows. I have only been to 3 or 4. We have nothing but pictures. The radio is fixed now tho so I can play it. A tube burned out while I was gone and the company pilot promised to fix it for me but it took him nearly two weeks to get around to it. However I try to practice the piano every day so I don’t have much time to radio.

I’ve had a big evening this evening and a miserable day. Everything went wrong until I got home. I’ve cleaned out dresser drawers (hunting a picture) and did various other acts of cleaning. Then baked some pies and cinnamon rolls. The woman next door brou’t my dinner to me and it was the kind of food I can really go for when I’m hungry. She’s a grand neighbor.

Helene (tall dark girl with us in Chi) called and said all the pictures she took there were good. Even of the water when on the boat to Milwaukee. I’m anxious to see them. She’s going to bring them to a t? Sunday afternoon so I can see them. Last Sunday Louise (blonde girl) came over and she and Barbara (my pal) laid around and read aloud to each other from Don Marquis poems about Archie the cockroach Mahibatabel (?) the Alley Cat and then from Lawnshend’s “Earth”. Not much contrast, huh?

I know, Howard, that you are extremely interested in all these details of my daily living!

After all my searching the evilassed picture isn’t so hot but its the best I can do right now. You see, most of the pictures I have show me with long hair and of course that’s not the way you saw me. I had real long hair for about 3 years. I just cut it this Spring. The other girl is my sister - Maxine. Last year was our first snow in 3 years. The brick house shows the two front windows to the apartment where we lived. It looks like I have protruding teeth but perhaps you’ll recall I didn’t. So much for that! Can I help how I look, anyway?

Howard, dear, It’s quite alright for you to call me Deanie. My mother does sometimes as she and my step father call me Dean almost exclusive. My father calls me “Bunny.”

Honey, I shall be anxiously waiting another letter and your pictures. You’re a dear.

Sincerely Bernadean

Howard and Bernadean - The continuing drama

September 5 1933 - Tuesday morning

Dear Howard,

You don’t know how much better I feel since receiving your letter. I was so afraid you wouldn’t write even after I had done so. And sending it special just made it perfect. Otherwise I wouldn’t have it yet as yesterday was Labor Day we got no mail. Besides I liked the getting of a letter from you that way. I was next door eating dinner when it came. We both had our doubts and now we know that each is sincere.

I took some pictures of the house yesterday afternoon and if they are good I will send you one. This kodak had never been used before and I’ve had it a year so no telling what they will be like.

We are on the NRA new and so I work 5 instead of 5 1/2 days . I get Tuesday mornings and Saturday afternoons off. This has been a long weekend. I just got up - it’s 10 o’clock - and have to get to the office by 1. Mother is here this morning but she is downtown at the beauty parlor. My sister left for St Louis the next day after I got back. There! That’s enough about my family. But I’m pretty crazy about ‘em.

I would love to have seen the Lake last night - there was such an exquisite moon. That’s one thing we didn’t get to see.

You remember I told you a friend of mine had first had a horoscope made up. She’s my “pal”. We’ve been friends for about 9 years. But anyway, she just came back yesterday from Galveston and points South and so we talked far into the night. I told her about your knowing the zodiac signs etc. and she said you must surely be intelligent to be interested in Astrology when so young, that most men do not think of such things until they are much older. She believes in it, though, almost as strong as most people believe in the Bible.

The people we visited in Evanston were not relatives of mine. They were friends of Louise. I wish I did have relatives there, I’d come and stay with them until I found a job. I expect to go back there next summer to stay, anyway. After the taxes are taken care of etc.

About the pictures, dear, as I told you I have none now but I’ll have Barbara take some real soon and I will send you one. But be prepared for the worst. I look even worse in pictures than in the flesh. Don’t forget, honey, you said you’d send me one of yourself. I’m waiting but I hope not too long. If you have any photographs I wish you’d send me one so I can see it on my dressing table. If not, of course, I shall be happy with a snap shot.

I remember Lil very well and it was sweet of her to say that. I first sat and gaped while she talked. The best part though was when you said” So do I”.

Your letter was so sweet I hope I shall have another soon.
And better still, I do hope you’ll get to come down here sometime. Altho I honestly do not believe you’d like me much if you’d see me at home. I’m such a straight sort of person with my job and house and I don’t go out at 10 O’Clock A.M. to meet strange men! But that was the high light of my trip!

Mother will be back for lunch pretty soon so I’d better stir around. She’s going back home about 4 this afternoon.

Sincerly, dear, Bernadean

The Road not Taken

I have been delving into the genealogy like a miner digging for the mother lode. Sometimes, I admit I slip into the role of a child making mud cakes and often I feel like I am digging a hole in sand. So many lives to sift through to find the one you want to know about. It is with regret that I set aside some of those, perhaps to come back to someday. As I read about the 'mark' that others have left behind, I wonder what mark I will leave, if any.

Today I am looking deeper at Cousin Howard. He was my mother-in-laws cousin and so related only through marriage. Yet in some ways I feel he was a kindred spirit. It is so sad that I have met him only through his photos, letters and dry facts. In 1933 he met a girl at the Chicago World's Fair. They spent one day together before she went back to Oklahoma. But, she wrote to him and he wrote back. They wrote to each other for at least 3 years before they were married and living in the same house. Howard saved every one of Bernadean's letters. I am transcribing them slowly and pondering the choices each of them made.

Letter number 1

August 28, 1933 from Bernadean

Dear Howard,

Have you forgotten me yet? From Oklahoma - you know. We’ve been gone almost 48 hours which is after all quite some time.

Quite obviously, we arrived alright. So far as I know only lost two things on the trip - my National Honor Society Pin and a pair of gloves. Had a nice trip home. Slept most of the way to St. Louis. Ate dinner as soon as we got on the Tulsa train and then slept on in. My sister was at the station which I certainly didn’t expect at 6:30 a.m. She is leaving tomorrow. Going to St. Louis. Will stay if she can get a job. Already I can tell my family are going to object to my staying alone all winter. My sister had all my books and things cleaned up and stacked out of sight so that I scarcely recognized the place.

I have lots to do, honey, since this is cleaning time but do hope I shall hear from you very soon. If I don’t why of course I shall not write again.

Sincerely

Bernadean Jones

I also have contrast this letter with another he saved from a different young lady. These two women were worlds apart.

August 24, 1933 from K.R. Cady 1098 Spring Atlanta, GA

Dear Howie,

I’m writing under difficulties - a very juicy pear in one hand, and a very talkative Annie Laurie (the dumbest nigger in the world) making much disturbance while making my bed & hanging up my clothes. I don’t know which is worse. They’ll both be gone soon, though.

I feel very much ashamed of myself for not writing before since you were sweet enough to write me that nice letter. But you see, Howie, I was up in the mountains and I had a guest with me. Being the perfect hostess, I had to turn into the non-perfect (infact, awful) correspondent. The guest, invited for a week, stayed the entire month I was there. My Aunt kept renewing the invitation. Well, I just got back into civilization a couple of days ago.

Oh Howie, I hate to think my summer is most over. I looked forward to it for so long. The mountains were grand. I lived in shorts, anklets and muleskin moccasins.

Interruption - my cousin just brought down a few chapters of her newest novel for me to read back to her, and to comment on. It’s well - Loving for Luck - you’ll have to read it when it comes out. There’s a lot of me in it, and she threatens to dedicate it to me - isn’t that exciting!

As I was saying about the mountains. You would have loved the life. One night I slept out under the full moon, on top of a mountain. Many mornings we got up in the dark, and set out over the ridge to see the sun rise and cook breakfast up in the clouds. We took all day canoe trips and explored caves with lovely waterfalls. And, I could go on forever.

But now it’s Atlanta again, and that means society. Thats kinda fun too. Two formal dances at the clubs every week, and then buffet suppers, teas, and swimming-parties. And meeting prominent people. My authoress cousin is giving a formal dinner at the club tonite for a lovely debutante who is now in the movies - hot dog!

And people wonder why I like the South. You don’t, do you, Howie? But I’ll be back soon, with this household of cousins in tow.They’ll be with me two weeks - It’ll help my home sickness. but you’ll have to help too.

As Always

Kay

I know a few facts about Howard and somehow it feels like a teaser, a preview of coming attractions. I can't wait to see how this all works out.