If only I hadn't gone to the bathroom. At 2:30 in the a.m. I got up to go to the bathroom and that's when I knew the end of the world was coming. Suffering, as I am, from this terrible virus and feeling quite sorry for myself I decided that I needed a cup of tea (with honey). So, I went downstairs and put on the teapot. While I was waiting for the water to heat up I reasoned that I should have a cigarette. Now, being health challenged, I had left my pack of cigarettes in the car so that I would not be overly tempted to kill my lungs off unnecessarily. After a moments hesitation, I made my way out to the car and retrieved my coughing spell. AT the very moment when my hand touched the door handle, I heard a voice in the darkness.
"Ere you gonna do it? 'cause I airnt."
I whirled only to find . . . no one. There was no one there. Then another voice answered, "I already done did it." I glanced around and finally got my sights on the source of these voices. Two men were making their way up the drive across the street, headed for the pool table and beer above the garage, no doubt.
"Well,I think yer a damn fool. Tell me about it." Yes, I thought. Tell us all about it. I dove back into the house and grabbed a cup of hot water, a tea bag and my coat and headed back out to linger by the car.
Sure enough, they were up above the garage, and as always the windows were wide open. I got out there just in time to hear the first break of the rack and the rueful cursing of the first shooter.
" I hope you did a better job'n 'at. If you haint done it right we'll all pay."
I could see the silhouette of the first man with his bushy moustache leaning on the pool cue. My hot tea steamed nicely warming my hands. Inside, Moustache man prepared to take his shot.
The skinny man leaned out the window and hocked a juicy one. I shrunk back against the van, glad I hadn't lit my cigarette yet.
Turning back to the room and formidable moustache he said, "I went on down to armree and booted up that new computer. I was.." "How'd ya get the password?" "Stop interruptin' me and take your shot or admit I'm better'n you." I pulled out my cigarette fascinated. The clash of pool balls sounded and I heard one make a pocket. "See, 'ere? So, like I was sayin' I was entering the password, the one stenciled on the monitor screen." "Well, hell, who was stupid enough to do that?"